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Author Archives: derekablaylock

About derekablaylock

I feel a bit compelled to fill in this box with some random ramblings. Maybe it's because whenever turning in my school tests I made sure that I had every bubble and box completed...or maybe rather it's because if you've randomly landed on my blog and don't know me personally, or if you knew me 10 years ago (I've changed quite a bit), I can provide you with a little context about me and where I'm coming from while you're perusing my blog. Primarily this blog is going to be about random thoughts because I am a very random person - it might be about politics, sports, current events, movies, cigars, beer, wine, or random thoughts that pop in my head. I can probably predict, fairly accurately, that for the time being most of the blogs will gravitate around theology as I am somewhat publicly entering into a new area of my own personal beliefs. I am not a fan of labels because the way I define a particular label might not be defined the same way by someone else. To give you an idea of where I am theologically you can of course read my blog and you'll discover that my thoughts are ever-evolving and if you ever have a question about something feel free to reply. Cheers!

“Jesus Juke” vs the Bible is Ancient, Ambiguous, Diverse (credit to Jon Bowles)

Today’s perspective: the bible is Ancient – don’t forget that.

These thoughts below are derived/quoted directly and semi-paraphrased because my fingers couldn’t type fast, from Jon Bowles (pastor at Beggars Table) in his sermon series of “sacred responsibility” from September 17, 2019. I don’t like cherry picking thoughts because it’s akin to when people cherry pick specific bible verses in order to solely support their narrative…but alas, I did. 😊 Link to entire sermon provided below.

https://overcast.fm/+EutWFmidk

“Ancient, ambiguous and diverse. We are 3000 years removed from king David. … We are as distant from King David as the folks who will live in Kansas City in the year 5000. Not the year 2050, the year 5000. … We have to respect the distance that the writers of the Bible lived a long long time ago and far away. … They would be freaked out by a zipper. … They are shaped by the time and place that they live and when they lived. They, like us, can only work from what they know. I can not write a complete treatise for how to think and how to behave for the people in Kansas City in the year 5000. I can’t do it because I have no idea who those people are. You and I are the same way for the people who lived in king David’s reign.”

Now, my (Derek’s) sidebar thoughts.

1) Keep these thoughts (above) from Jon in mind when saying something contained within the bible is “biblical”. Yes, technically it’s biblical because it is contained in the Bible but we tend to forget to look at the ultimate themes, intended audience and the context around a passage. It’s like when people used the Bible to support slavery – christians would just rather forget that it ever happened, but I hope christians don’t EVER forget it happened but instead learn to be more discerning to understand when we see the misuse of scripture.

Or on the lighter side, the ending of Dexter, we would just rather forget about that train wreck. Ok, train wreck might be hyperbolic but it was more illustrative than any other adjective I could think of. I digress, the ending was so hurried and felt so forced that a good series will just waft in the wind with their poor attempt at wrapping up the series.

More on the initial point later in a future blog post…maybe*. The post will dive more into the reason behind the reason.

2) People ask why I don’t wrote more often, the truth is I write quite often but most of the time after I write a blogpost I never actually post it on my blog. Not sure exactly why not…it might be because just the act of writing it is cathartic enough, or maybe it’s because in regards to my writing I’m a perfectionist and I just never take the time to clean it up so it’s post-worthy. I’m thinking it’s a combination of both of those reasons.

3) Additionally, I keep my “deeper” theological thoughts off of Facebook and on my blog. So if you access my blog, which you did if you’re reading this then it’s your own fault for what you’re opening yourself up to. 😆 People don’t need to have theology or politics unwillingly peppered at them because most people will dodge those posts in the same way Neo dodged bullets in the Matrix.

4) *Maybe I’ll start posting some of the posts I did not end up posting.

5) Enjoy today’s ridiculous christian picture, which includes a VERY white Jesus.

The ultimate Jesus juke

 
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Posted by on December 9, 2019 in spiritual, theology

 

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My Self-Hate and Body-Obliteration Feels Good…Right Now.

My Self-Hate and Body-Obliteration Feels Good…Right Now.

So in my attempt to fully obliterate my knee (as if 35 years of soccer and baseball didn’t already do the job), and my shoulder (I have no idea why my upper arm is in pain) I’ve entered 3 gravel “races” for this year. To note, I enter these races to complete, not compete.

The 3 races –

Gravelleur’s Raid – just the 50 mile course to get a finish under my belt and warm up the knee.

#DirtyKanza 100 – the main event of the summer. This one will be on the anniversary of my Mom’s passing and will obvious be physically tough, and even more so emotionally taxiing. If I’m able to finish the DK100 I’ll be a blubbering mess. My hope is to build up to be in and complete the Dirty Kanza 200…eventually.

Gravel Worlds – 75 mile course in a new (to me) location should be fun.

My venture into gravel grinding is for fighting the spare tire that is creeping around my belly; is much prefer the spare tire be on my bike. But more importantly I ride in remembrance of my Mom and her fight with Alzheimer’s which ended last June on the day I was riding in my first Dirty Kanza. #milesforMom

As I continue with my training (now that we are above freezing temps…for a little while at least) I’ll try and post on different topics like, why gravel, tips on gravel racing, equipment, “the cave”/2017 Dirty Kanza 100, training (how much bourbon and how many cigars you can consume without bonking 😉), knee pain (my own personal challenge), nutrition etc. Keep in mind I’m not a professional so I’ll post from my own personal experiences – what works for me might not work for you. If you need professional experience I have a number of friends, podcasts and websites I can recommend.

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2018 in gravel grinding, Uncategorized

 

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Vampire christians suck – less but more. And how this partly relates to why I don’t pray anymore.

Willard’s quote below is an additional reason I struggle with prayer and hardly pray much at all anymore (there are many reasons). Primarily, I haven’t found a proper way to pray that sits well w/my theology. I don’t want my prayers to resemble “vampire christianity”.

I also don’t want to teach my sons to treat god like a genie in a bottle who doles out our wishes. Also, b/c I saw one of my greatest prayers for my Mom never happen, and that fucking pisses me off. Like a friend of mine commented when he lost his son, “it feels like I was tricked”.

I want to avoid vampire Christianity in my life and if/whenever I feel comfortable to pray again.

This ‘heresy’ has created the impression that it is quite reasonable to be a ‘vampire Christian.’ One in effect says to Jesus, ‘I’d like a little of your blood, please. But I don’t care to be your student or have your character. In fact, won’t you just excuse me while I get on with my life, and I’ll see you in heaven.’ But can we really imagine that this is an approach that Jesus finds acceptable? – Dallas Willard

Almost surprisingly my faith is strong, and I have hope that someday I’ll pray again and that I’ll also be able to teach my sons how to pray properly. But until that day I’ll sit quietly while you all pray.

Amaharo.

 
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Posted by on November 27, 2017 in theology

 

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My political silence is ending…but not on FB.

My political silence is ending…but not on FB.

My political silence is ending…but not on FB. Fire it up.

Since last September when my dog Baron died…


…I’ve tempered my FB posts a bit in realization that FB is just nonsense and utter bullshit when it comes to politics. I love you all but it truthfully is. It devolves down to who can shout the loudest?! 

So back then, I turned over a new leaf on FB and have tried, to the best of my ability, to keep my Facebook posts free of my own personal politics (except for “liking” other peoples’ political posts). Political FB posts are often times just way too divisive. Posts on a screen don’t have the ability to change culture, or advance anything meaningful or tangible, really. It’s just an attempt of who can shout the loudest while reinforcing our own cognitive biases. We simply “like” ideas we agree with, while we dismiss (demean) ideas or people groups we don’t agree with. Facebook has become a different form of the “Christian ghetto”. Facebook requires nothing of the user other than the click of a thumbs up, or sharing things we really, really, really agree with; and we just know that if people will read what I shared they’ll change their minds and agree with my cognitive bias posts. (heavy sarcasm implied)

My blog on the other hand is fair game for any and all topics!…and it’s also where I would like to invite you all to engage me for RESPECTFUL discourse. Topics will include: theology (sin of certainty, books I’m reading, how we read the Bible, turning the other cheek vs why Jesus doesn’t champion christian warriors/soldiers, evolution), racism, politics (Dems and Repubs are both wrong, legislating morality is wrong-er), business (sales primarily), sports (KU, Royals, Sporting KC and muckfizzou), my new love of gravel grinding, BBQ (reviews and my own smoking), cigars (reviews and FDA bullshit regulation updates), etc, etc, etc. 

But everything that has happened from the president recently is absolutely unbelievable, and astonishing. And yet, at the same time, not surprising of him at all. That fact is regrettably the sad, hopeless feeling of pulling the curtain back on Trump’s true character. 

So with all this nonsensical, despicable bullshit going on from the president and the Church’s silence in response to him I might have to start firing the blog up again and I apologize in advance. 😉😎 but seriously, I want to encourage you to engage me – I’m nice…for the most part. So if you don’t understand why I believe something I wrote about, just ask me. My blog is called “Dialogo de Derek” for a reason – it’s an invitation into a conversation. It’s not meant to just be a monologue, or my own diatribe.

Honestly though, writing for me is more cathartic than anything else; it allows me to hammer something out, take a deep breath, exhale and continue on without loosing my noodle. I’ve written several posts recently and just haven’t hit “publish”. If/when I start writing again I will link to the posts on FB, but still keep my FB feed free of my direct thoughts, you’ll have to click the link to see the inner workings of my randomness. We’ll see what jumps from my brain to my blog in the coming days. You’ve been warned. 😉😜 I love you all…or at least most of you. 🤣

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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I Will Not Pray For You, I Will Be Here For You. aka: No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury Their Child. 

I Will Not Pray For You, I Will Be Here For You. aka: No Parent Should Ever Have To Bury Their Child. 

(This post was inspired by the tragedy that occurred at Schlitterbahn in Kansas City Sunday, August, 7th. And dedicated to all my friends who have lost their child.)

A parent should never have to bury their child.

That is not the natural order or progression of life. It makes no sense. And such is life: nonsensical at times. 

I am overwhelmed and feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut when I read of a child dying in a senseless accident  (that is not placing blame for yesterday’s accident)  such as being forgotten or locked in a car that overheats. No matter the instance, no matter the accident, illness, or malicious intent of someone, a parent burying their own child is an absolute tragedy. 

I’m only one person and know of too many friends who have had to bury their own child. Think of what I just said: 

Bury. Their. Own. Child.

If you don’t have children I’m not discounting your ability to understand this scenario but the rush of love that fills your life when you have a child is astronomical. Words can’t explain the amount of love that coarses through your life. I didn’t (couldn’t) understand this before I had my two sons. 

But then, to have the focus of your love taken from you – feeling helpless and impotent and frozen. With NOTHING able to fill that void. 

Good god. 

Horrific. 

As friends we think of the parents the day the tragedy happens and maybe periodically afterwards (not a guilt trip, just reality) but the parents have to live with the heartache every single hour of every single day. 

To all my friends who have had this tragedy happen, I am so sorry. I love you. I can not fathom or empathize what it is like to be in your shoes – to experience a heart-wrenching loss. My heart breaks when I hear of your tragedies. But please know I am here for you. 

To everyone else, please keep your children safe. 

Walk alongside your friends who have experienced this tragedy. If you’re a flesh and blood friend don’t tritely offer to pray. If they are religious they might be questioning a whole helluva lot of faith’s worth and don’t want to hear a hollow offer. I know I wouldn’t. 

Here’s a song by the band Needtobreathe singing of the importance of friends and community and how we should be there for each other during times in our life that can rock our foundation, crush our spirits, tear our souls to shreds. 

At the same time, their faith could be their only shred of hope they have to cling on to as they feel the walls of the natural order crumbling around them. Everyone reacts different. 
They need continual, tangible help; a shoulder, an ear, or a body to just sit with them. Be there and be available for them as they need you. 

Lord be with us all. 

I am here for you. 

Thy kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 

https://youtu.be/R3-wie9NOZE

 
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Posted by on August 8, 2016 in creation, culture, spiritual, theology

 

Hopeless Shit vs Hope…For Now…Until That Day

Hopeless Shit vs Hope…For Now…Until That Day

The Preface of Being Pissed Off

Yesterday I was driving home from Omaha and reflecting on all the good meetings I had the past couple days at the hospitals I call on. What I didn’t expect was later that evening to be sitting in my living room, holding a glass of bourbon (well that’s always expected 😉) and typing out a post while crying my eyes out over a song. I had an overwhelming feeling of sadness and hopelessness from something I believe has been stolen from my sons. 

I was feeling heartbroken and pissed off like I’ve never felt before at the hollow bill of theological goods churches sell about God.* Thankfully from all the shit that happened at churches I attended in Little Rock I’m not sold out to allowing a church feed beliefs into me. Over the past 5 years I’ve had a paradigm shift in a lot of my religious beliefs and my view on the Bible. Don’t worry I’m not jaded with God, just the Church. {Thankfully we’ve found a great church here in Olathe that helps me grounded.}

The Song

This song, “When Your Kingdom Comes” by The Silver Pages (link below) is continually punching me in the gut. It’s hard to listen to and not just cry. I’m talking a serious ugly cry like lay night. I’m not kidding I was making noises I’ve never heard from me. It was like a duck being stepped on slowly. 😜

When I heard the song on the drive home from Omaha last night it immediately made me tear up.

The Hopeless Shit

With all the horrible, gut wrenching, hopeless shit that goes on in this world…for me personally it’s dealing with the effects of Alzheimer’s on my Mom, knowing my mom isn’t able to enjoy and love on my amazing sons like she would if Alzheimer’s hadn’t taken her beautiful mind and spirit away…for those who are dealing with their children suffering in some manner, cancer, losing loved ones, having to bury your own child, divorce, abuse, some assholes valuing a gorilla more than a child’s life (I honestly don’t give a fuck if you’re offended by me saying that…did you miss the part about my Mom has Alzheimer’s? That she doesn’t recognize me, her son. Do you think I care if you’re offended about what I said about a gorilla, or that I said “shit”, “assholes”, and “fuck”? I don’t care. My. Mom. Doesn’t. Know. Who. I. Am. I don’t care if you’re offended by a statement or a word or my beliefs. If you are offended just click away and stop reading my posts.), feeling the church has tricked you by teaching an empty and faulty theology that life is peachy by saying a prayer and that God will fix and cure everything…

…but this song points to hope. Sometimes all we have is hope. 

The Hope…For Now…Until That Day

Hope is not a tangible replacement, honestly in a way it’s  just a mind-game and for some, maybe for me, a coping mechanism. It won’t bring my Mom’s mind and spirit back anytime soon. But what hope will allow is for me to imagine and dream of one day when heaven kisses earth and all things are redeemed/renewed, my boys will run up to their Mimi and give her the biggest hugs and she will have the biggest smile on her renewed mind and body as she hugs them back as she had always craved. Her spirit (and patience in raising me 😉 ) is one of never ending grace and loving kindness. 

IMG_4813sher 210IMG_5670IMG_5838IMG_3519

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Hope.

Sometimes hope is all we have to cling to…and hope can be beautiful…for now…until that day.

Anyway, have a listen to the song and cling to hope…for now…until that day.

Please Lord, remember me when you walk in paradise. Please Lord, remember me, let me walk there by your side.

*I’ll have a post expounding a bit more on some of these topics in a couple days…maybe the post will just be cathartic for me but that’s ok with me. That’s mostly all of my writing anyways. There are so many things I don’t post but maybe I should for the sake of letting others know maybe what they’re feeling isn’t isolated to only themselves.

 

 
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Posted by on June 1, 2016 in theology, Uncategorized

 

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“Jackie Robinson” Is Not Our Final Example of Racism. Brutally Honest Opinions

“Jackie Robinson” Is Not Our Final Example of Racism. Brutally Honest Opinions


I am really looking forward to the Jackie Robinson documentary on PBS tonight and tomorrow. I am a big fan of Ken Burns’ documentaries and can’t wait to see this one. 

Unfortunately some will watch this documentary and think, “I’m glad our society isn’t like that today”. Sad. Today, our laws may be different and our sports are integrated but the truth is our hearts tell a much different story. Our hearts still resemble the actions of what Jackie Robinson had to fight against. 

Racism Today

Racism baffles me. 

Yes, I unfortunately understand (and abhor) how people are racist a-holes and try to subordinate people who intimidate them (i.e. slavery – no, subordination is not why slavery started but I do think it might have been a contributing factor for what helped perpetuate slavery), and how the legal system allowed racism to legally linger well into the 1960s. 

But, how racism still exists in today’s society is completely beyond comprehension. Yes, a society will always have outspoken degenerates (today that seems to be the Republican party…sorry, but prove me otherwise), but I have heard racist comments from all walks of life, not just degenerates. 

Brutally Honest 

{Disclaimer – what follows does not fully encapsulate my opinion of Arkansas because I had a lot of great experiences, for example: I have some good friends who live(d) in Arkansas, 

L to R: Tad, Brian, John, and Me
I met and married my wife in Arkansas, p1010009and both of my precious sons were born in Arkansas.  But my horrible church experiences, and the racism I saw do not reflect favorably on Arkansas, to put it mildly. But unfortunately despite this disclaimer some will completely disregard what I have stated and think I hate Arkansas. This is not true at all.}  

a sign in Harrison, AR

 
Before I moved to Arkansas I had NO IDEA how alive racism is in Arkansas. They have Robert E. Lee day on the same day as MLK Jr day and are realizing how ridiculous and insulting that is and finally might get that changed. 
When I lived in Arkansas  (2008-2015) I heard racist comments on a regular basis: in doctors’ offices, on the golf course, playing soccer, playing softball, parties, out to dinner, everywhere. People in Arkansas were not bashful at espousing their disgusting racist opinions. 

Now that we (my family) have moved from Arkansas to Kansas (my home state), being able to get away from the rampant racism in Arkansas is one reason I’m glad we don’t live there anymore. I don’t want my sons being infected by others’ disgusting racist ways and am glad they won’t be inundated with those views. I hope my sons are so oblivious about the way some people are treated dependent upon the color of their skin that I have to teach my sons about racism and how wrong it is.  Despite Kansas being steeped in historical landmark decisions and actions of racial equality (being a free state, Brown vs Board of Education ruling, John Brown, Bleeding Kansas, and more) sadly more recently Kansas is not perfect when it comes to fighting for marriage equality (again, see the Republican party). 

And please understand not every Arkansan is racist, but when it comes to race Kansas is much better than southern states. (Considering the present state of the South and race that last sentence isn’t exactly a ringing endorsement.)

Racist Christians

The church founded by Jesus should be known for what he was known for: radically embracing those that others refused to touch. – Jonathan McIntosh

Short sidenote that I won’t belabor – if you’re a “Christian” and hold racist views i.e. you’re a racist…I honestly don’t know what to say… What part of Christ’s message embodies racism? Unbelievable. 

Diversity and the Gospel – Christ City Church

This is a link to a great podcast of Matt Washburn guest speaking at Chrisy City Church who speaks about this issue more tenderly and eloquently than I do. I am more blunt and straightforward; for better or worse. 🙃

Rant over for now…I do have a blog post I’m still working on regarding racism, but for now, enjoy the Jackie Robinson documentary and think about how you can help eradicate racism. 

Cheers! 

 
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Posted by on April 11, 2016 in culture, theology

 

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