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“Happy Holidays!”…ha!…we tricked them!

(This was originally going to be a Facebook post but being that discretion is the better part of valor I decided not to post it on Facebook so as not to piss off people on FB…but I will link to it 🙂

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I think I’ve got this Facebook filter thing figured out so I’m sending a secret post to all my Christian friends who are putting on the armor of God and going to battle in the holy war on Christmas. There’s been much to do on our favorite “news” channel Fox News that there is a war on Christmas by people saying, “Happy Holidays” instead of offering animal sacrifice and bowing down to praise Jesus and saying, “Merry Christmas”. Well, don’t get upset when one of your pagan, heathen friends wishes you “happy holidays”. The etymology of “holiday” is derived from “holy day”. So we tricked them! They have no idea they’re actually saying john 3:16 when they say “happy holidays”. We win again!

Share this post in the next .0002 of a second and God will give you $10,000,000,000 in unmarked bills, a can of spam, and a unicorn!…whoops, too late; God will now send the fleas of 1,000 camels to infest your sweaty God-forsaken armpits.

Now for a little bit of sanity…my disclaimer.

*disclaimer –

It’s almost as if Christians feel like they are Ralphie and have been bullied by the big bad culture, Scott Farkus, long enough so now they’re coming out swinging.

If you don’t know the entire above post was lathered in sarcasm and a bit of tongue-in-cheek then you don’t know me very well. Let me put it another way…this post is a joke! We (humans) need to focus on the things that actually matter: racism, poverty, homelessness, those without access to medical care, and hunger (among other broken issues/systems). I think all that will keep us plenty busy. If this post pissed you off..take a step back, take a deep, cleansing breath and lighten up.

And remember, if you are getting all bent out of shape when someone says, “Happy holidays”…

…”You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Mark 12:31. That’s kind of a big thing to remember seeing as Christ said to love God and lover our neighbors and there are no commandments greater than these.

The God of the universe became flesh & lived among us. And we honor that by whining when someone says “Happy Holiday”? It’s ridiculous. – @rachelheldevans

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Posted by on December 15, 2013 in culture, theology, Uncategorized

 

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