So it’s springtime in Arkansas which means alot of rain…and I do mean alot. Just this past Sunday (Easter Sunday) I got soaked on my way into church…a new church that I was visiting. More on that in a second.
Right now, it’s late and I’m sitting in my living room enjoying a nice cabernet sauvignon, listening to the Grateful Dead, Jim Croce, and Bob Dylan (among others), occasionally glancing down and to my right at a Krakauer book that is begging me to pick it up and knowing that when I do pick it up it never betrays me into boredom – although I’m only about 30 pages in it’s a very compelling read. I’m also thinking about alot of things/issues going on in my life right now. Let’s see…I have a perplexing insecurity about my job even though last month I hit 118% to goal. I now find myself not leading midrash which is something I brought to Arkansas from St. Louis (where it was wildly successful, and in this instance # of people showing up does not constitute success, although there were bunches of people showing up) and lastly, well not really lastly, but the last I’m willing to discuss in the blogosphere is that I am also looking for a new church home…which is corollary back to the previous mentioned item of midrash leadership. The church I was attending and I have a difference of opinion in some theological matters, which for sake of brevity I will not go into. The leadership of this church and I realized that our visions and ‘needs’ are heading in different directions and to respect each other we need to part ways. It was a mutual decision we both agreed upon and I’m fine with this and actually the leader and I are still friends. What surprised me and honestly perturbed me was his decision to retain midrash and theology on the rocks at his church. Maybe it’s an issue of pride, but maybe it’s also my concern that midrash/theology on the rocks will take on a form which mimics this church’s values which are some of the reasons that concerned me enough to not remain at the church. Not that their values are necessarily wrong, because they’re not, but midrash and theology on the rocks is a different bird in that it needs special leadership to have it’s mission plug along in a proper, functional, compelling manner. Granted, there is not a midrash/theology on the rocks manual for how to do things correctly, but there are, in my mind, easily identifiable things not to do which might not be as easily identified to others. Beyond that it basically boils down to the fact that I’m upset in the leader’s desire to retain midrash and theology on the rocks when truth be told it was my brainchild to start these two things in Little Rock. And honestly, I’m not happy about the decision and he’s aware of my feelings because we had a long respectful conversation about this but at the end we both disagreed. At the same time I won’t bitch and moan about it b/c I have enough other friends who are eager to start something of our own whether or not it’s under a new banner or not. So we shall see what the future holds for ‘midrash’.
Because of all of these issues colliding all at once at terminal velocity I feel as if I’m playing frogger with a nebulous endline of where I’m supposed to end up. But you know what…in my adventurous, analytical spirit…it’s also kind of fun. Maybe it’s more like Q-bert and I need to labor to try and make it to the top…I always liked Q-bert better anyway…and plus I had a sleeping bag with Q-bert on it.
“Perhaps we had become a little arrogant with our fine new technique of ice-claw and rubber slipper, our age of easy mechanical conquest. We had forgotten that the mountain still holds the mastercard, that it will grant success only in its own good time.” – Eric Shipton “Upon That Mountain”
Ok, cigar suggestion. This past weekend I went with some buddies to Cregeen’s and I had a Rocky Patel, ‘The Edge’ and I must say it was a very good cigar. It’s a maduro if not bordering on robusto. And it was a very smooth cigar – it was about $7 if my memory serves me.
The wine I’m enjoying while I write this is Root 1 – it’s a cabernet sauvignon from Argentina. It’s fruit forward, spicy, smooth velvety finish but also enough tannins to remain true to it’s cab grapes. It was $11.99 – a very good wine.